Going For A Song: Early Days 5

I sang and payed my guitar for a while with the other two members of the trio, and then alone, in similar establishments to
the one we started in. The primary attributes of such places were, the availability of alcohol under low lit surroundings, the cementing of sudden bonds, and the indulgence in loud conversations by the customers. The addition of often gaunt performers, some who looked as if they had not spent enough time in the sun light, was seemingly a cynical after thought.
Needless to say, performing under these circumstances, never sat lightly with me. Even in those early days, when my own expertise on stage was very much that of a novice, I harboured the notion that a singer should be heard, as he or she performed in a "human" atmosphere, rather than one where the performance was low on the list of commodities, available to
the customers. During those years of my musical crucible, I found a survival mechanism for dealing with my situation. From
time to time, people would ask me, "Why don't you smile more when you're on stage?". The truth is I seldom ever did. To this
day I feel the stage smile should be a natural extension of how you feel inside, rather than something you paste on, when you come before an audience. Singing in bars, which to me was a bruising experience, never gave me a natural reason to smile. In those days, it was also my way of not surrendering to my surroundings, so that I would become a prisoner in such places, for the rest of my performing life. Sometimes, I look back and wonder why anybody ever hired me for their stages, given that a stage smile is such an integral part of what you are supposed to offer. but they did, enough to help me to survive, to eventually sing, in more "human" situations.
...............Quester.