This Line

Early Spring Rhapsody

Today...the seldom recent sun...made an appearance...nudging me outward bound with my new camera. In previous Januaries...i've gone on walks to check out the first signs of spring on the land. When I tell people...even some who live
on the West Coast...that spring is on its way by the end of January...they look at me sometimes as if they are wondering about what it is I've been injesting...to come up with such a claim. Maybe they're simply tied to the well worn notion that
spring starts in the fourth week in March...and that's that. Today's trip out...was...you could say...an evidence gathering one
...to underline the notion I carry of the early coming of spring...out here. I went to the edge of Lost Lagoon...bordering
Stanley Park...and began my picture taking of various flowers returning. Soon...I'd taken pictures of...witch hazel...with their
twirled yellow petals...[I've also seen in the last week the dusky red bearings...of another branch of this family of flora...
on a bush twice my height...and with no leaves...only flowers]...broom...with its rich yellow flowers...first forsythia flowers...
[that I couldn't get a picture of]...various trees...some as high as twenty feet tall...full of what are called "cherry blossoms" out
here...[I want to find out their scientific name]...some with light...some with dark pink flowers...a sumptuosly blooming
pink azalea bush...a close up of a bunch of pink rhodedendron flowers. To top of today's underlining of my feeling that
the West Coast...is the oasis of Canada...protected by the Rockies...at the end of my walk...I took a picture of a cluster
of banana trees...that somehow survived the winter...with their fresh green leaves coming out...with palm leaves behind them...to reinforce the tropical theme. I returned home with much documented evidence of my notion about the early
coming of spring...today. I hope my friends east of the Rockies will bear with me...as I rave on about the early coming of
spring...and look upon it...simply as the utterances...of someone in love with a certain season...and the place on Earth...
where he is privileged to live.....................Quester.

You Talk Too Much

Observation 6

"Againstness"...
is abroad in the land.
I wonder how many
of those who tell you...
they're against this...
and against that...
could tell you...
what they are "For"...?

A Lensman Once Again

The last camera I acquired was a 35mm Pentax camera...when my daughter was an infant. As time went by...she turned out
to be...probably the most photographed child anywhere. A few years ago...going from Vancouver to Toronto...for my
niece's wedding...I packed my trusty Pentax into a soft bag...and checked it in at the Vancouver station. The part of me
that's somewhat smart about such things...told me don't do it...it's a recipe for disaster...but that day the "Mr Short Cut"
part of me raised his impatient head...and a few days later...in Toronto...I finally took my camera out of the soft bag...and
one glance at a large dent on the edge of the lens...told me that the disaster that I'd set up...had gotten tired of waiting to
happen. Since that day...I've gone without the use of a camera...perhaps my Jesuit schooling...to do with punishment for
sins...to be duly endured...kicked in...and prolonged my cameralessness...that is...until today. Today I bought a 5 megapixel digital camera...finally having decided it was time to take off my sack cloth and ashes. Earlier tonight...i faced what
sometimes seems to be my being digitally challenged...and tried out one or two things with it. This camera could wake up
several dormant possibilities...but I'm not going to promise anything...we'll just have to see what "develops"...........Quester.

What Remains Unsaid

Isn't it interesting how we human beings turn life experiences...where we suffered from anxiety...or even terror...into stories
we tell glibly...with a laugh or two added...that certainly weren't there when we were going through the experience in
question. What is behind this turning of our difficult experiences...into stories vastly different...especially emotionally...from
when we were experiencing them?. You could speculate endlessly about the reason for this tendency. One possible reason
may be...that we do it to help ourselves survive...perhaps knowing innately that people would grow impatient very
quickly...and avoid us...if we talk about our actual suffering. And so...what we actually go through...often remains "unsaid"
...as we become better and better...at wringing a laugh or two...about events in our lives...where laughter was never part...
of the original experience....................Quester.

Miracle

My Question

Observation 5

"While we continue
to blame other people
for the misery
in our lives...
we are unlikely
to grow...
beyond our troubles..."
......................Quester.

My Guitar Weeps

A Beautiful Slow Unfolding

Just completed a walk through my neighbourhood...under grey skies...but with the rain taking a break. It's true that it's
rained a lot in the last month or more...but ultimately...that's edged us closer to spring...while we were preoccupied in
thinking and talking about the rain. Today...I noticed the vivid green daffodil and crocus spears...rising up out of the ground
....and told myself their flowers are soon to follow. Also saw...some more flowers budding and coming out on a rhodedendron...and another bush that bears dark pink flowers. I feel I have a lot to look forward to...as my favourite season
begins its beautiful...slow...unfolding..................Quester.

A Spontaneous Meeting

Today...in an unplanned way...I met up with a friend...who invited me to join him and his daughter...for lunch. We
brunched together...and chatted...and laughed...and then went our separate ways. There was a touch of spring in the
air...and a bit of sunshine after all the recent rain...as I went my way...and I was particularly thankful...that in the age of
appointments made weeks ahead...I was able to meet spontaneously with friends...and share some "fabric of life" time
...in the midst of so much "Friday business". I returned home uplifted by the experience.....................Quester.

In The Encyclopedia

Today I looked through a copy of "The Encyclopedia of Native Music"...2005 edition...by Brian Wright McLeod... "More than a Century of Recordings from Wax Cylinder to the Internet"...and found in there a profile of myself...and a list of some of my albums. Gives you a strange feeling reading about your work as an artist through someone else's eyes. On the one hand...it's great that they took the time to do some research...and flattering that they included you in such a core document...especially when you have never had a publicist working on your behalf. On the other hand...through no fault of the author...you know...such mention of your work...does not tell the deepest and widest part of your journey as an artist...your real...long...life as an artist...which is the result of many decisions made along the way...to keep working on the things you create...and to live your life with dignity...staying away from engaging in undignified and opportunistic actions. Of course...encyclopedia...never claim to cover such territory...so...you're fortunate if they include anything about you. Part of the strange feeling you experience reading about yourself...also...is that "this is the word" about your artist's life...in other words...a lifetime of artist's work is being summed up in a few paragraphs...in other's eyes "your die has been cast"...you are no longer the eager eyed beginner...who...early on...had no such thing to reflect on. Anyway...I actually have no complaints about what was written...understanding what the territory encyclopedia cover...is. I am happy too...although I've written and recorded songs for a long time...I somehow managed to escape the "wax cylinder" listings. Anyway...being mentioned...beats the "ocean of indifference' artists are usually surrounded by...and for that...I am thankful......................Quester.

River Of Time

[Chorus of song: River of Time]

"And the river of time...
She runs deep...she runs wide...
And she brings you white blossoms...
and red roses on the tide...
Then she heads out to sea...
And she waits for no one...
And soon the blossoms
and red roses...
are all gone..."
.........Quester.

Warm Evening With Native Youth

Just returned from spending an evening with some Native Youth. Three of the Native Youth workers there had spent time
in my country of origin...Guyana...so they shared their experiences there...and I shared how it was for me when I first came to Canada ...and sang a few songs. It was a warm human evening with a lot of laughter...and all of the young people although some were a bit shy...came out of their shells to make it an enjoyable evening. This is the kind of experience I've always liked
taking part in...and I may be meeting with them again up ahead. One of the youth workers asked me for a copy of my brand
new cd "Autumn Moon"...so tonight the first copy started its journey out in the world. All in all...a good day.........Quester.

Autumn Moon

Up to ten p.m. last night there were many people rooting fo a new rainy days in a row record...but...of course Nature is
not into our little games with numbers...and declined to oblige...causing the streak of a mere twenty seven days of rain in
a row to end. However...we started on the trail of another record...today...with another wet and miserable day kicking the
new streak off. The rain this morning...was nudging me not to go outdoors...given a fractious throat recently...not needing
any help from the elements. There was an important chore to be done...that required a trip out...on Saturday I had been
notified that my new cd's were ready to be picked up at the cd manufacturer. I spent some time debating whether I would go
through the rain for the waiting prize...and I got to thinking how completely up to me...are such journeys of mine...as an
artist. Every inch of the way...from the first voice and guitar sessions last August...to getting the idea I would turn some of the songs recorded into a cd...then wotking out guitar and percussion parts...and rehearsing...then finally recording them...
only to be met at the end of my recording efforts...by the sound engineer involved going AWOL..then in my disgust...leaving
the project for about ten weeks...until the new year offered me a chance to start again. Taking my sound and cover masters
into the cd manufacturers...only to be offered a few more opportunities to give up on this project. I remember the level of
motivation I had making my first albums. In recent years that kind of motivation has not been available to me...having made
over twenty albums...does...I've found...leave you with a "to do or not to do" conundrum...throughout the cd making process.
This is where I've found...I've had to "manufacture motivation'...several times during the process...while always being in
danger...of letting it all go...and not bothering with the project. For these reasons...I am happy to report...that in a taxi in
the rain today...I returned home with a container...full of my brand new cd..."Autumn Moon"...with its lovely cover...that I
feel good about having created...along with every sound on the cd. Tonight I can pause...in appreciation...at having
overcome my demons of inertia...to bring this project to the finishing line...having done my artist's part...in making
it happen.......................Quester.

A Quiet Day

Today was a quiet day...with a little bit of sunshine. A lot of the time you might feel there's nothing to be said about
a quiet day...there tending to be a hankering after having something dramatic to report. Maybe such an event didn't
happen today...but it's important to remember that some dramatic events in our lives bring a lot of tears with them. Today...was a tear free day...and this afternoon I was able to roam around the West End of Vancouver...as one of my songs says "my feet kept moving under me"...certainly beats lying in a hospital bed unable to move around. So...a quiet day...
but one to be thankful for...with spring about to come in...any day now..................Quester.

Carver On The Silence

[Verse & Chorus of Song: Carver on the Silence]

"You're a carver on the silence...
of the morning and the midnight...
you ask no quarter from the ones out there...
And you are not the only one...
who chose to live his life this way...
trying to make sense of life down here...
And you sing to yourself...
and you talk to the sky...
and you rise one more time...
trying to write on these days slipping by..."
.....................................................Quester.

Rain But Better Days Coming

Today has been the twenty seventh day in a row of rain. Of course this is not what any of us who live here would prefer...
but it does come sometimes...along with the privilige of living on the west coast. With all the focus on the rain...perhaps
we have been missing some of the signs of spring coming in. Over the last two weeks I've spotted assorted flowers...
returning. Perhaps the first day of sunshine...whenever it does come...willl also coincide with spring being undeniably
back too. Regardless...things are on the verge of getting better soon.........................Quester.

Reminder 4

"Make your plans...
but don't let
ambition...
turn you ugly..."
............Quester.

And The Seed Shall Grow

[Verse & Chorus from song:
"And the seed shall grow"]

"And the seed shall grow...
as time goes by...
and the tree shall rise...
up to the sky...
That is the way
we're meant to be...
seeking the sun
that sets us free...
And I hear a whisper
as I watch the red leaves fall...
Here and Now is all...
don't let it pass you by..."
..........................Quester.

One Life 4

[Lines from poem "One Life"]

"One Life...
not to be witheld
in the absence of forgiveness...
One Life...
not to be abandoned
from the sorenes
of unhealed wounds...
One Life...
not to be blocked
from the knowledge
of our imperfection...
One Life..."
....Quester.

Only When It's Too Late

[Verse & Chorus from song: "Only when it's too late"]
"If only you had known...
this love was like a budding rose...
needing your light to help it bloom...
before the life force goes...
But it's an old old story...
this love that has to wait...
to be told in praises...
only when it's too late..."
.........................Quester.

Reasons All Round

[Verse of song "Reasons all round]
"Reasons all round me
to rise from my blues...
So many blessings...
I can pick and choose...
Poems and people
and flowers and song...
Giving me hope...
to help me move along..."
..........................Quester.

Steam Train Artist

He speaks...
with his eyes gleaming...
about how when
he was a fire man...
on the steam train...
how he used to get
that smoke just right...
white smoke...
signifying not only
that a Pope has been elected...
but the sign of an artist...
at work on the trains...
rather than being a maker
of black smoke...
that shows the fire man
is a beginner...
with too much coal
heaped too fast on the fire...
Aother lesson...
in living life lightly...
...................Quester.
.

Observation 3

"Don't be afraid
of swamps...
Swamps are there
to teach us...
to walk on water...
and swim on land..."
..................Quester.

Poem: Picture From A Train

The train stops...
at CN Collins...
Two Aboriginals get on...
others cluster on the platform...
facing the train...
just a few feet
from the old white lady...
"protected" by...
thick train window glass...
From the train...
she takes a good look at them...
it's not every day
you get such a good view
of "almost wild Indians"...
from a safe place...
Soon they turn their backs
to the train...to walk away...
and her camera clicks...
The faces...would have been better...
but...then again...
to get that picture...
she would have had...
to face them.........
...............Quester.

Counting To Ten

Last night I listened to the master of a cd I'd been working on last year...for the first time in about ten weeks. The
engineer involved...who I'd worked well with to that point...suddenly seemed to develop an attack of "unprofessionalism"
...and started postponing the finishing touches on his engineering duties. In all of my years of recording...and working
with sound engineers...I had never encountered such a problem...everyone involved seemed to recognise that you have
to do your part in taking a project you've agreed to handle...to its timely conclusion. A relative of mine says that the
more progress you make in liberating yourself...brings you trickier tests to deal with...this may have been at work here.
Anyway...there was a choice to be made in this frustrating siituation...unleash the fire and brimstone [always wondered
what "brimstone" was...but now is not the time to figure that out]...or find a more peaceful response. What I chose to do...
was "count to ten"...more precisely it turns out...to ten weeks. It should be said here...that when you have rehearsed for weeks...and gone through the rigors of finishing your recordings...is the worst possible time to be held up by someone
other than yourself. For one thing...you have been over exposed to the material involved in the project...and you simply
want to wrap it up. I let my plans to launch this cd in 2005 go...and left the material sitting until last night. I'm happy to
report that the coming of the New Year...gave me an opportunity to start again. The time away from the material had
refreshed my ears...and I was able to listen to the songs again...and with that...decided I would now go forward with
this project...even coming up with a new name for the cd...and designing a new front cover. I look forward to this part of
the process...as I hopefully now...take this cd project to its natural conclusion......................Quester.

Singing In Schools

Observation 2

"As a child...in school...
they taught me...
'Fifty million French men
can't be wrong...'
I know now...
that large numbers of human beings...
of any nationality...
can be wrong about a given issue...
So...stick with your truth...
and forget about the numbers...
numbers don't automatically
make anything right..."
......................Quester.