The Story Under The Quiet Bravery

Was just writing a piece a little while ago...that quoted this verse from one of my songs..."You are a lucky one...not mute as the stone that cries...Not free as the bird that flies...but cannot sing a song...". It was about how fortunate I feel to be able to express myself. Given what we human beings go through on this Earth Walk...it would
be awful not to find a way of expressing something about it. Having said that...as part
of our survival kit as human beings...we also know that it may not be a good idea to
express how we're feeling at a given time...but give ourselves...and others...an
affirmative message of some kind...rather than share with others...how we are really
feeling...or what we are really going through...lest...as the poet Rudyard Kipling said
,,,they turn away...having "troubles enough of their own". Hopefully...the story under
the quiet bravery...will find a way to express itself...it deserves at least that.....
....................Quester.

New Year's Day Cherry Blossoms

It is four and a half weeks until New Year's Day. When I first came to Vancouver I
remember seeing cherry blossoms blooming on New Year's Day in Stanley Park. Going to
Stanley Park on the 1st of January to check out if the blossoms were back...became a
tradition for me for a few years...and they were usually waiting for me...right on
schedule. Right now...the roof tops are covered with snow...and the white stuff is swirling around in the wind outside my window...although that should discourage me...
tonight I am looking forward to resuming my cherry blossom spotting
tradition...soon..............Quester.

White And Grizzled Mountains

It was good to see the sun today...even though it's been the coldest day so far. The
mountains outside my front windows...were covered with snow from top to bottom. That
always gives me a special feeling. It has to do with with looking out and spotting a
white and grizzled giant...announcing..."you can't miss me now...today I am in your face...more than I usuually am...take note!". In the half light before dawn...the mountains were particularly ghostly...I tried to take pictures of them then...but I am yet to attempt brightening the dark pictures I got of them. We'll see. A little while later...they had lost the special mystery they had in the half light. One of the mysteries of things that change...with the unfolding of time...especially things that our outer eyes see...............Quester.

Born To Dance Then Die

One of the most difficult things...it seems...for a human being to do...is to arrive at
his or her own "sense of righteousness"...without having to denigrate "lesser mortals".
This thought has come to me many times over the years...and I have to remind myself
not to stand on someone else's back...in order to feel good about myself. Of course...
that is easier said than done...the first impulse always seeming to be..."slam someone
so that you can feel better about yourself". Where does that tendency come from?. It
has been strongly acted upon throughout human history...with catastrophic results. For
instance...the ones painted as "heathens"...were set up because of that...as fair game
for those of "the chosen few"...who were actually many...and not only that...were ahead of anyone else...in acquiring "weapons of people destruction"...which they used in their various "conquerings" of the "heathens". I'll have to stop that skein of thinking
right there...as I'm reminded,,,that the poor "chosen few"...like me and everyone
else...were also..."born to dance then die".............Quester.

First Snows Of The Season

Why does the coming of the first snow stir a mixture of feelings in me?. It does bring a striking change to our surroundings...and for that reason alone is a noteworthy event. It also brings a certain kind of beauty...that at least on the West Coast of Canada...doesn't happen that much. New fallen snow...before feet have tramped through it...reminds us of a certain kind of purity. For me the first snows of the season...is a bitter-sweet experience. Added to the foregoing...are the memories it brings back to me...the beauty of the first Ontario snows...brand new to Canada from the tropics that I experienced...followed by a prolonged ravaging of my well being for what seemed an eternity...until the first dandelion poking upwards...out of the debris of winter on its way out...told me that I had survived...one of the harshest experiences of my life.
I know now...that I don't have to brace myself for that anymore...having found the
shelter of the West Coast. Out here...snow appears...usually...just long enough for
you to throw a few snow balls...or slide down a hill...or go out into it...on a little exploration of it...and despite the low light...taking one more picture of it...to add to the ones I've taken this day...from my front windows.........Quester.

Where Your Power And Beauty Lies

"When you use
your inner muscles...
over many years...
doing spirit and creating work...
and any other exercises
in your invisible places...
you become an Inner Athlete...
and are in no need
of hair pieces or wrinkle cream...
The passage of the years...
does not bring wrinkles...
to the place where
your power and beauty lies..."
......................Quester.

Pan Piper

Pan piper...
playing out his soul...
people walking by...
seemingly oblivious...
I am not...but still...
I take a picture...
and I move on...
not ready to listen...
either................
..............Quester.

The Single Whammy Principle

When you have a difficulty in life...
moving calmly...and gradually...if possible
to solcve it = One Whammy...
If you add worry to the situation...
you add another whammy...
so now you have made for yourself...
a Double Whammy...
Needless to say...
a Single Whammy...
is preferable...
Life is hard enough as it is...
.......................Quester.

Whistling Ducks

This species of duck congregates come winter...in English Bay and off Stanley Park.
I don't know what they are officially called...but I call them "whistling ducks"
because of the great whistling sound they make when they rise off the water and fly off. They have often made me smile as they go whistling on their way........Quester.

Turning Turbid

Never thought I'd see the day when the state called "turbidity" became important in my life. This is actually the sixth day since it became important to two million residents of the Vancouver area. Basically it is when the water in reservoirs...in this case...becomes clouded with sediment...and who knows what else...from mud slides etc...caused by excessive rain. There has been a warning not to drink tap water...or use it without boiling it first. Typing that...made me go to the stove to turn off the heat under the pot of water that's been boiling for a while. It's all been another reminder...of how we urbanites take for granted so many things we use on a daily basis...that are actually...not automatic...and could vanish at any moment...like electricity and reliable tap water. Apart from adjustments I've had to make...since my life " turned turbid"...I can sniff a metaphor for some aspect of life blooming in that blunt and uninspiring word...it should be obvious what it is...hope it becomes clear...by the time my tap water does..............Quester.

Signs Of Hope

Before noon today...I felt I could no longer be "confined to barracks"...by the
glowering November clouds. I headed down to my post office box...and then for a walk
along English Bay. Even though the light was low...I took a few pictures...being
reminded that even on a day like this...there was beauty to be seen...if I could move
past any "November sulk" that was offering itself. Took a few pictures of the black and
red boats on the grey bay..."whistling ducks"...a wonderful small bush...with its multi-coloured autumn leaves still holding on...in front of large stones. Turning back
up Denman Street...I was passing some rhodedendron bushes when flashes of colour caught
my eye. I zeroed in with my camera on the pieces of colour. Once again...I had encountered one of the "signs of hope" I had come to know...since my first West Coast winter...the lush deep pink of rhodedendron buds well on their way to opening. After surviving the ravaging winters of Ontario...this sight...and many similar ones...have always made me feel thankful...that I live in "the oasis of Canada"..................Quester.

Before I Got Mellow

"I've looked at life...
from more than both sides now...
and at love...
from the pastel shades of heaven...
to the primary colours of hell...
so...whatever you do...
don't you mess with me...!"
...................Quester.

Snow On The Mountains

For days the gloom, clouds and rain...have blocked my view of my mountains...
subtracting something from my life. This afternoon they left long enough...for me to
see the first snows of the seasons on their tops. It gave me a special feeling. There
is something about snow topped mountains that make them even more special than they usually are. Perhaps...when there is no snow to be seen at your ground level...
they emphasize that you are looking at a realm somehow beyond where you are. Mountains
tend to do that anyway...but snow on their tops...accentuate their other worldly=ness.
For me...my most interesting mountain pictures come...when they are snow capped. Add
to this the swirling clouds that mountains attract quite a bit of the time...and you
find you are looking at some beautiful variations...on the object of your "Mountain Love".................Quester.

The View From The Bow.

In my time...I've found myself often hypnotized...by wakes on the water. I have a sense
that a lot of other people experience the same thing. What is it about them that
facinate us?. Well...they remind us of where we have been...that we leave a mark of some kind...as we travel on our life's path...although the the way that can disappear...like froth on the water does...should warn us about having illusion's of grandeur about our passage. It reminds us of the end of chapters in our lives...and not to spend our time fixated by the past...but as quickly as we can pull it off...to turn away...and move towards...the view from the bow..................Quester.

Danger Of The Thorn

[From song:"Danger of the Thorn"
cd "Book of Love".copyright-SOCAN]
"Perhaps the danger of the thorn...
keeps us sreaching for the rose,,,
and with no danger from the thorn...
we'd leave the red rose where it grows...".
...................................Quester.

A Brighter Recent Time

What a wretched day it has been...with ultra gloomy skies...rain...and gusting winds...
all preceeded by the forecasters talking about a dangerous storm coming in...that could
topple trees...and start floods etc. I decided...regardless...to head out for lunch...
taking with me my pristine new black umbrella. It wasn't long before a huge gust of wind turned it inside out. When I tried to righten it...I noticed that my umbrella was
no more pristine...with two of its supporting struts...broken. The gloom deepens as
night falls...and the wind and rain continue. Noticed that in this last stretch of
archetypal gloomy November days,,,I haven't taken any pictures. Fortunately...I have
hundreds in store...of a brighter recent time...that will return......Quester.

Play It Sweet And Slow

[From song: Old Fashioned Immigrant
Copyright-SOCAN]
"So play it sweet and slow for me...
your southern fire sets me free...
from all the worry and the pain...
to dance my rumba once again..."

........Quester.

People Of The Salmon

[From song snd cd:"People of the Salmon"
Copyright-SOCAN]
"When in clouds the mountain tops are gone...
and sky and land become as one...
I catch a glimpse of how you came to be...
shaped by mountain...sky...and sea...
People of the Salmon I can hear you...
Through the ocean mist I hear your song...
I can hear your drum beat...echoing...calling...
I can hear your song...so deep and strong..."
....................................Quester.

Handling Dissonant Memories

Going through writings about events in past chapters of my life...I find some of them
easy to read again and edit. Others,..I find myself having to brace myself to return to. Perhaps,...that is a measure of the dissonace certain memories stir in you. Perhaps
too...that is a good reason to persevere with them although they are not easy to handle. My hope is,...that once pieces of such writing are edited,...and consigned to a
manuscript of some kind,...you can then consign them to the mixed bag life is...made
up,..among other things,...of unpleasant memories,...along with pleasant ones. This,...
perhaps,...is one of the good reasons for having events of your life,...nicely edited
and checked for typos,...and basically,..."ready to print". When they are finally ready,...like that,...you can finally,...hopefully,...release them to the past...and if
you choose,...never have to return to them ever again..........Quester.

Beyond This Gloom

Today was another short...dark...wet day. I must confess...to in the past...feeling
that days like this...were here to stay. I...of course...battled out of that feeling as
quickly as I could. This winter...or is it supposed to be still autumn?...I am
beginning to see a response to the winter blues...or should I say "greys". It is a
turning of my mind to the brighter days of the past...and reminding myself that they
will come again. The summer festivals I love...sith the gloom that pertains through a
lot of the days now...that try to tell you they could never have happened...did happen
not that long ago...and will come again. The time of "angels on stilts" will return...as the gremlin in the commercial said..."this is not over"...............Quester.

Answer To The Rain

I have been with my head down working on one project or another for many weeks now
every day. I am doing so because I have certain projects I want to complete...and I know that the way that is going to get done...is doing something about the current one I'm working on...every day...without letting myself miss a day or two...and because of that...losing my momentum. My dailyness has caused one project recently to be completed...with another well on its way. These last few days...the rains have returned after an extended sunny summer and early fall, There were days when the sun was shining outside when I was at my keyboard plodding away...and I had the feeling that these sunny days are not going to last forever...go out and enjoy them. It's by resisting this temptation enough to get my day's output done...that helped to get my first project completed. Now...I see...how lucky I am to be working on my current project...as completion of it draws near...if I keep on working the daily way I have...I'm going to look up one day not too far away...and see the first crocuses blooming...having found a great way not to let the Time of the Rains...take charge of my life........Quester.

Dream Carrier

A "dream carrier" has to learn the art of carrying a dream through time. Along the way
you are lucky if anyone is keen about your dream...with so much on their own plates...
they may not have attention or energy to send towards it. This is one of the
central skills someone who is carrying a dream has to learn...i.e. to generate your
own interest and enthusiasm for your dream. Often it means battling through your own doubts...and sags in your own enthusiasm...or being exposed to a notion for too long...
and not seeing it being made manifest. Carrying a dream until its turned into a reality
requires much skill and endurance. Tonight I wish the dream carriers of the world well...and may the indifference of the world to what you have in mind...never stop you
from carrying your dream onwards..............Quester.

Pixel Plucking

Have been working on a picture for a book cover for days now...in addition to writing every day. What necessitated a lot of pixel by pixel work was...I took a digital picture of an acrylic painting of mine. This picture had in its decorative parts a lot of vertical and horizontal lines. In the digital picture they didn't come out clean and clear. So what I ended up doing was clearing out each section of the digital picture
...and putting a new section in. Around the edges...this proved to be painstaking.
I think a few minutes ago I finally have a version of this picture that will work.
I kind of enjoyed this work as a change of pace from my writing which I've been doing a
lot of. We'll see how it all works out..................Quester.

Autumn Song 2

[Words from: Autumn Song
CD My Kind of Song..Copyright SOCAN]
"Autumn never smiles...
At those who face the wind...
There are no favours taken...
given...this time...
This time is for the wind...
This time is for the stone...
This time is for the one
who can catch fire..."
.............Quester.

Part Of This Creation

From song: Evening Song
copyright-SOCAN]
"I receive the gift of living...
As I watch the sun go down...
Hear the waves beat on the shore line...
Watch the wheel go round and round...
Watch the wheel go round and round...
For I am peaceful here this evening...
Nothing calls I have to heed...
I am part of this Creation...
I have all I'll ever need..."
.....................Quester.

Thanks For Central Heating

I've just been reading through...material I wrote previously...about my years in London, England,...when I survived somehow,...in tiny bed-sitting rooms,...putting
two shilling pieces into rapacious heating meters,...that you fed this way...or if
you didn't,...froze. I had come to London,...following my childhood brain washing,...
that Britain was my Mother Country that I must head for some day. An even more immediate reason,...was I'd written my first songs and felt it was high time I made my
first album of them. I shudder as I think of the motivation and endurance that helped me to survive those days of being most of the time frozen to the bone. Thinking of this tonight...makes me thankful...for Canada...and central heating,...something we all take for granted,...but does not exist universally.
.................Quester.

When Time Slips Away

Just looked up...
and it's 12.42 a.m...
must mean I was really into
changing pixels
on a digital picture...
excellent...means I'm doing
something that really
engages me...
and makes time slip away...
...................Quester.

My Mountain

[From song: My Mountain
copyright-SOCAN]
"And my mountain...
never lies to me...
as she feeds the river...
and she guards the sea...
And she sings to me...
sometimes sweeter than wine...
though she's got her secrets...
just like I've got mine...
I will live on this line forever...
Where my mountain meets with the sea...
Where the eagle flies in the blue sky...
Guarding this line between
my mountain and me...
.............Quester.

There Are Rivers

"There are rivers...
too many have sailed on...
There are rivers where
none have sailed...
but the thing about rivers...
is they keep on flowing...
paying no mind...
to whether many...or none...
know about their flowing...
The river goes on its way...
whether none or many are listening...
singing...I flow therefore I am..."
...........................Quester.

The Passage Of Time

Today is my daughter's birthday...she is a grown woman now. In my email to her this morning...I didn't tell her about that first morning of her life...in a Toronto hospital. How when I first held her in my arms...she was light as a feather...and I
was afraid that as delicately as I was holding her...that my heavy hands would make
a mistake...somehow. I didn't tell her about the cruelty of the passage of time...
and how it quickly takes away the ultra special charm and beauty...that only a child can have...regardless of how beautiful an adult he or she becomes. I didn't tell her
a lot of things...not wanting to mention days long and forever gone with her...that I
still carry with me and always will...not wanting to be over sentimental or melodramatic. I sent her beautiful wishes and wished her all my love...staying away
from sending her a blubbering email...and she replied in a short while. On the one hand there are things that we should tell each other while we are all still here...on the other hand...there are things like what the passage of time does to us all...that come to us...at times such as birthdays...that might be best left unsaid............Quester.