Roots...Memories...And Escape

A couple nights ago...I looked at an online
gallery of photographs...of my country of
origin...Guyana. I recognized some of the places photographed. Looking at them
stirred many memories...the front door of
the high school I went to in the capital city...
Georgetown...the cemetry I learned to ride
bycycle at...the cathedral at which I served as an altar boy...an aerial view of the twenty
mile wide mouth of Guyana's largest river
...across which...as a youngster...I took a
ferry to get to the big city...the
government building where I worked for a
while before I came to Canada...the two
main markets in the city...full of the colour of all kinds of flora and fauna,,,and people
in bright clothing...and so many other sights...that stirred me...and left me with a few
hauntings...knowing the main people I knew and loved there...have moved on to other
pastures...of this world...and beyond it. Yes...there was much that resonated in me as
I looked at pictures of the place that shaped me. However...there was an absence of
the nostalgia...that would make me wish I was back there...and I must confess...a
feeling that I had made a "great escape" from there at the age of twenty...yes...a mixture of feelings...ranging from ones about roots and memories...to ones about
having made an "escape from"...as my "escape to"...keeps unfolding.......
...................................Quester.

Pacific Mountains

[From song: Pacific Mountains...Copyright-SOCAN]
"Slowly drifting to the east...
across the mountains green...
The clouds of April are heading out...
to places where I have been...
Like a blown and restless leaf...
long from the Mother Tree...
Searching long for a magic place...
to bring my home back to me...
Where the ramblers stop their roamin' ways...
I will stay...I will stay...
Pacific Mountains...wide and deep western sea...
Close by to comfort me..."
.....................Quester

Gifts And Apologies

Four years ago...a Guyana country man...
living in New York for many years...who is
among other things a story teller in the
Guyana vernacular...sent me two cd's of his
work...which I promptly misplaced...without
a chance to listen to them. The misplacement...contributed to my not getting back in touch with him at the time...
and...before you know it...four more years
had slipped away. Yesterday...I was looking
at Guyana pictures...and it reminded me of
my roots...and "roots people". This nudged
me to send him a belated "thank you"...for his misplaced gift...and an apology for not
being in touch...before now. Within an hour and a half...there was an e-mail reply from him...a gracious and funny one...with his use of the Guyana dialect...giving me a
chuckle. Within another hour and a half...I had mailed him three of my song cd's as a
thank you gift. This has all left me with a good feeling about the value of good human
communication...even when an apology is part of it. Perhaps today's good experience
...will encourage me...to make the first move...so that I can tie up a few more loose
ends...still dangling in my life....................Quester.

Keep on Keepin' On

In the Southern United States...one of the
replies to the question that people ask each
other when they first meet...but no one really wants an answer to..."How are you doin'?"...is..."I keep on keepin' on". The first
time I heard that reply...it made me take
notice. Over the years I've grown to see the
wisdom of it...until now I see to..."keep on
keepin' on"...is to engage in a major life skill. "Keepin' on"...is not an automatic thing for a human being to do. For one thing
as time goes by in your life...motivation to
do things...that was once natural to you...
can dwindle right down...while at the same time inertia waits to swallow you up. Then
there are addictions and wounds...that can leave people still breathing...but ceasing
to really live. This little piece tonight...is my own attempt at keepin' on...when on first
looking at my white blog page...inertia offered itself as a giant cloud around me.
Anyway...tonight...I am thankful...that...so far...I've been able to "keep on keepin' on"
..............................................Quester.

The Right To Dancing Life

[From song: "The Right to Dancing Life
Copyright-SOCAN]
"Although sometimes we lose our way...
Forget what brought us to this time...
And spend our days and nights
like leaves blown on the wind...
Beyond the foolish things we've done...
The wounds received and given too...
The right to dancing life can still be found...
Take from your eyes the greyness of the day...
This chain of the prices you feel you must pay...
Nothing you've done or failed to do deserves...
Throwing these precious days away..."
.......................................Quester.

Jaguar Caged

Just finished looking at a slide show about two jaguars
from my country of origin...Guyana...that were
captured and taken to a zoo in Jacksonville...Florida.
It was great to see pictures from the deep country in
Guyana...however...the old subject of wild animals
held in captivity...to be viewed by people of the more
affluent countries of the world...has always given me
pause. The question may be asked...about how else
most of us city dwellers would be likely to come close
up to one of the magnificent wild creatures of the world...if it were not for the ones we see in zoos. There
are probably other arguments for having creatures in
captivity for us to look upon. I don't think any of them
...however..can outweigh...the contradiction of having
a "wild" animal being shown off in a captive situation.
For me...a jaguar in captivity...strikes close to home...
it's hard for me...coming from the land of jaguars..one of the most royal...beautiful...powerful...and graceful creatures of Earth...and over the years... having it become my totemic wild creature...to see a caged creature instead. The
"essence of jaguar"...is in it's freedom and mystery. Removed from where it belongs
jaguar becomes a ghostly reminder...of what we have lost from our beautiful Earth...
and are still losing..........................Quester.

They Too Are Also Teachers

I've been a songwriter and singer over many years...but through the most difficult times...I have never busked. I suppose that has a lot to do with not exposing myself to
all that indifference out on the streets...not
to mention the movement all around you...
oh yes...I almost forgot...and people throwing coins at you. I've sometimes watched in wonder those who set them selves up in public places to perform or pan
handle...and wondered what the secret was
that helped them to do so. They have obviously experienced a part of life that I
haven't...and probably know something
about life that I don't know. Perhaps in
observing them...there are lessons for me to
learn...including ones to do with relinquishment and trust. Something tells me that in
addition to much else in life...they too...are also teachers................Quester.

Life Insight Bringers

Bertrand Russell said: "Most people would rather die
than think, in fact, most do". That statement...in
addition to its dark humour...resonates in me...I think
there is something to what the man is saying. I think
that he also in his journey towards his truth...had
gone past the "prison of false modesty'...to state on
this occasion and others...his truth. I'm sure
that being world famous...as a wise person...helped him to make statements such as this one. I can't help
but think also...how being world famous and "living in
the truth"...are two states that do not cohabit naturally with each other...as being world famous usually requires a lot of spin away from the truth of the way things actually are. I think that Mr Russell...had the
"courage of his convictions"...had confidence in the
insights that long years of reflection had brought him.
I am thankful that there have been people like him in the world...who have passed on
to the rest of us their insights about existence...when they could have remained quiet
about what they saw...and not risk being called egotistical or crazy. I salute the
"Bertrands" of the world........................Quester.

My Mountain 2

[From song: My Mountain..Copyright-SOCAN]
"And my mountain...never lies to me...
as she feeds the river...and she guards the sea
...And she sings to me...sometimes sweeter
than wine...though she's got her secrets...
just like I got mine...
I will live on this line forever...
Where my mountain meets with the sea...
Where the eagle flies in the blue sky...
Guarding this line between my mountain and me".........................................................................................................Quester.

Glad You're In This World

Yesterday I was treated to a feast and given gifts...by family members...to celebrate my birthday...two days ahead of its actual date. It was
very thoughtful of them to do this. These days I am
not sure I like being reminded of new notches being
made on my life line...there have been so many of
them...but I do appreciate in general...the way
people honour each other...at least on one day of
the year...the day a person came into this world.
The family birthday fuss...is from the good aspect
of what families can be about...regardless of the
aggravations people who have known each other
too long...can experience in each other's company.
It is members of the family...that are usually present...at all the central mile stones of our lives...
whether they are joyous or sad...or as in yesterday's
meeting where the message..."we're glad you're in this world"...is generously given...
.......................................................................................................................Quester.

My Favourite Season

I'm sure I've said it on this blog before...the
kind of thing you do when something means a lot to you...that Spring starts arriving in
January...on the West Coast. My definition of Spring is not based on what the meteorologists or other experts say...for me it is largely...when the flowers start returning. This year...I saw my first cherry blossoms on January 2nd...then there was a two or three week lull before I saw the first snow drops...followed by camelias...witch hazel ...and at least two weeks ago...the first crocuses. Needless to say...my little camera becomes busier than probably any other time of the year...as I celebrate the return of my favourite season...........................Quester.

After A Time Is Another Time

Was just reading about people who had
emigrated from places like Guyana...my country of origin...and other places in the Caribbean...worked hard and accumulated money...in places "in the North" like Britain
...then returned to their countries of origin
...only to become very disillusioned with
what they found there. In Guyana...as a child...I used to hear the older ones say...
with much life knowing in their voices...
"After a Time...is Another Time"...recognizing how we human beings live our lives in chapters...followed by other chapters. I think some of the people who
returned to their southern places of origin...may have been attempting to return to
a place in "another time"...that they had carried for a long time in their minds. They
may have forgotten...that times change...people change...societies and their ways
change...and most importantly...we all over time tend to change. With immigrants...
like myself...I think a "point of no return" usually comes...at some point in our lives...
in our new countries. Knowing well...the harshness that might be part of living in the
North for some...I feel sympathy for those who return to their "old country"...seeking a warmer more laid back way of life...and their roots...although
in my own case..."after a time is another time" is one of the lessons from my own
"old country"...I have never forgotten....................Quester.

The Comfort Of Another's Words.

E.E. Cummings said: "To be nobody but
yourself in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop
fighting". Sometimes, after being your own encourager for a long time, in the journey to be yourself, the words of someone else can
be like a supporting hand reaching out to
help you along. There are so many pressures in our daily lives, pushing us to
abandon, who we really are, to "fit in" with
everyone around us...forgetting that if we live our lives trying to "fit in"...it's a sign that we may have left our authentic selves behind. Today I thank Mr Cummings for his
words...it is comforting to know that there are some others in this world who see what
I see..........................................Quester.

Poem: Fly Flies

"Fly flies...
into the inside
of the window pane...
again and again...
wanting out...
He will not stop
repeating himself...
until his energy runs out...
Reminds me...
that sometimes...
getting in can be so easy...
but getting out...
is the fly in the ointment...
or should I say...
the fly with his legs
up in the air...
at the bottom
of the window pane..."
.................................................................................................Quester.

My World 2

I remember as a child reading books by Charles
Dickens and Jane Austen...and being disgusted
by the crass way in which people grubbed after
the wealth possessed by others...in the most
opportunistic and predictable ways. The last few
days have shown me that nothing much has changed in my world. As I turn on the television I am assaulted by updates just about everywhere I switch to...about how various and sundry people
jostle to see if some of the wealth of a recently
deceased famous woman...can rub off on them.
What I see in this...tends to discourage me about the human race...so that I have to consciously
remind myself that while this and various other forms of crassness are going on in my world...that there are still some human beings doing beautiful work...in the service of others...or simply moving on gracefully on their Earth Walk...or reaching for
deeper values...than the ones I see displayed...at the shallow end of my world..........Quester.

Another Person's Consolation

Along the shores of English Bay...in certain
places as you walk...you wonder where it is you are...as you come upon clumps of palm trees. I remember a Vancouver resident once ranting about the palms to be found here...saying something to the effect that they were not natural to this part of the world...and she wished they would get rid of them. When I see them...they give me some consolation...perhaps that is because...I'm an export from "palm country"...just like them. Like they say...one person's aggravation...is another person's
consolation...........................Quester.

A Larger Shade Of Purple

Trying out some of my new options. My last posting done in lightish green ink and small letters didn't show too well on a greenish back
ground. When in doubt try purple...on green...
sometimes...there's something special about that.
As you can see...I'm trying out the biggest letters
that seem to be now available. I can see already...
how when in doubt...use large letters...might
become a blogger's mantra...making shorter messages possible.
.......................................Quester.

Blog Shift

I'm doing my posting today earlier than I usually do...given as of
yesterday I switched over to a new blog system. This time round
I'm trying out a new text colour...it looks as if it's working but I'll
know better after I post it. This set up seems to give the blogger
more options to work with...guess I'll check them out one by one...maybe. Discovered yesterday...as I checked out the new system...that using the "old system"...I'd done 667 postings since I started in April 2005. This was a surprise to me. Guess that number of postings comes out of having become daily about my blogging i.e. turning it into a "good habit". It is also another reminder for me...about "The Law of Accruing" ...i.e. how things add up if you keep doing them every day. May the dailyness continue. ..........................Quester.

New Set Up

Please see "This is a test blog"...for the post I just published...thinking it was going into "Life Experiences and Findings". Let's see if this one...done differently...goes there. I'm learning
the ropes with my new blogger account set up.................Quester.

Lake Of The Eagles

[Words from song Lake of the Eagles
Pretty Brown cd...copyright-SOCAN]
"Sun's like a painter...
on the rippling waters...
as we move slowly
across the bay...
Past deep green islands,,,
by dark rocks reaching...
up to the shining sky
as if to pray...
And the wind and the water...
Speak softly the Ojibway way...
For the Lake of the Eagles...
Still lives on to this day..."
......................Quester.

Lotsa Speaker Wire

Today I had a little puzzle to solve...how to put up speakers in my
bedroom...where I wanted them...rather than where the short stereo wires they had attached to them...would allow them to be put...further apart. After a while the answer came...you'll have to go out an hunt for some long pieces of stereo wire. The person at the first electronic store I went into...didn't seem to know what I meant by "stereo wire"...and once again I wondered if several waves of technological advancement...had left me and my old speakers...clinging to a fossilized notion of how you hook up stereos to speakers these days. Second store I went into...I saw different sets of wire in packages...until I saw one marked "speaker wire"...no wonder the man in the first shop couldn't help...I'd asked for stereo wire. Asked a few questions...then bought a packet with 50 feet of the said wire in it. Took it home and hooked my speakers up...then spent quite a while just looking out at my beautiful and mysterious mountains...framed by a black speaker on each side...through which beautiful music was coming at me. After years of putting speakers next to each other...or not too far apart...I marvelled at the years it had taken me to figure out the secret of "speaker placement"...so that you really get the stereo effect that was intended. It's amazing what lots and lotsa speaker wire can do!..................Quester.

City Of Boats

Went for a walk by English Bay this afternoon. I remember how when I first came to
Vancouver...feeling I was in a city of several different things. Once wrote a poem called "City of Flowers"...that title being one way that I could describe this city I love. It could also be called "City of Bridges"...but a name that applies to any time of the year here...is "City of Boats". There are boats of all descriptions that you can see on the "Fingers of the Pacific"...that reach into this city. Canoes...kayaks...sail
boats...barges...Richard Scarry-esque boats beavering around False Creek...ferries...
luxury liners...and freighters...take their turns showcasing themselves on English Bay.
The sight of the big ocean going boats on the water...have always given me a kind of haunting...as they beckon me...to sail away...to distant and exotic places...far away.
Ocean...mountains...and boats...are a combination that make me glad that after all my
rambling...not to mention many other things...that I finally found my second
home...here...on the uplifitng shores of the Pacific...............Quester.

My World

In the news today...and in previous days...is the story of the woman astronaut accused of plotting to kill a woman rival...in a "love" triangle. I don't like the way television and the newspapers go on a feeding frenzy on stories...particularly if there is a whiff of scandal about them. I think when the "respectable" media do that...they become nothing more than scandal mongerers...hiding under the notion that "the public has a right to know"...when what they seem to be following is the tenet that..."the public has a right to be titillated". That with so many impoverished and suffering people in the world...deserving of being told about in news reports instead...suggests to me that when the media does this... they are only after making their bank accounts fatter...rather than thinking about the public good. I see the poor astronaut woman...as simply someone...who may have cracked from being under too much pressure...for too long...and not someone who needs to be hounded everywhere she turns...whatever the pros and cons of this case may be................Quester.

An Eagle Circles

"An eagle circles...
between two hollow pillars
in the light blue sky...
All us people...
in tight little boxes...
high up in the air...
wishing we could fly...
and the eagle circling
and circling...
until the moment he decides...
to fly away...to the mountains...
across the water..."
...........,Quester.

Sweet Sad Sunday Songs

[Words from song: "Sweet Sad Sunday Songs"
Copyright-SOCAN]
"Don't you cry my love...
For this is not the end...
Of this tale so hard and so mean...
There is a place somewhere...
Where rich men have no power...
And tyrants nowhere can be seen...
So...sing...sing with me...
So we all can go on...
Reaching to the sky...
With the sound of our song...
It's taken me long...
But now I understand...
Why we used to sing..
Those sweet...sad...Sunday songs..."
............................Quester.

Black Bird

"Black bird
on white cross
on red roof...
Crow...
seeking a holy roost...
and finding it...
on a day when
the sun has gone...
forever..."
...Quester.

Reminder 2

"This life...
can only be limited...
by how much
of a prison...
I perceive it
to be..."
.....Quester.

Spring Is Always Coming

"Grizzled roofs...
winter reminders...
a subtle greening
of bare branches...
winter comes...
and winter goes...
and spring...
spring...is always coming"...
.....................Quester.

Writing About The Past

Although it's good to write about the present...and even speculate about the future
...if you feel you want to go there...writing about experiences from your past...is
an interesting exercise. You wouldn't want to be doing that all the time...or you might
run the risk of getting stuck there...but any project where you are writing about your life...inevitably has to deal with the past. Actually a split second after you've done anything...it becomes part of your past...so the past is a large territory in our lives
...with it accumulating...from the day we were born. I find that in the present...I
forget...for instance...about so much that I have done. For example...I've written
hundreds and hundreds of songs...but if someone asked me to name twenty...I would have
to mount quite a struggle...to come up with that. So...one good thing about writing
about your past...in a long project...is it reminds you of all kinds of affirmative things you have done in your life...that you had forgotten about...in addition to the
regrets you stir up sometimes when you think of the past. All in all...I think the good
tends to outweigh the other stuff.................Quester.